Today, I saw a video of Matthew McConaughey talking about an experience he had with his dad.
When he was a kid, one of his chores was mowing the lawn, but one day he was not able to get it started.
He came into the house, and said, “dad, I can’t get the mower started.”
Matthew’s dad was not a believer in the word, or the concept of “can’t,” so he went outside with his son, got the mower working, and then bent down toward his son and said, “see son, you were just having trouble.”
This brings up an interesting point about language and intention. In this case, substituting the concept of “can’t,” which is closed, final, and just not happening, with the concept of “having trouble,” which implies there is a solution seems to be a more productive way of thinking and allowing our frontal lobe to navigate towards answers.
In talking with my wife, Kara, about this I also realized that I don’t want to be in a mindset of “having trouble,” either — that doesn’t sound good!
So, from a cognitive point of view, where we’re working with our mind (thought/emotion), it seems more positive to come from the standpoint of, “I need help with …”
Now, we’re proactive in our statement without that negative bias — and it also gives us a clear path to action … to seek help.
But the mind is not the end all, be all of this. It is only one plane of existence.
There’s another plane of existence which I often refer to as consciousness (as well as mindfulness or presence). And as much as our intention to seek help can be powerful, it’s only operating on one plane. If we couple the cognitive with our consciousness — our connection to the Universe — now we’re working on two planes, which can be far more powerful.